#im in the wilderness as we speak

[queen-of-obsessing]

When you see a post about a ship you don't like:

[wisemins]

on a wonka note: willy wonka is autistic. literally no arguments to be made. i don't need to prove it. he is the proof.

[deathsweetblossoms]

Her hair is sleek and wet, fanning out around her where it meets the sea. Right now, she strikes him as entirely otherworldy. A siren--or one of the aos sí liable to drag him to a watery grave. Fey magic as ancient and wild as the hala, wearing a girl's skin. (A Far Wilder Magic)

I went into this with zero expectations and it really served me well. I knew I was promised "a magical secret, a mythical hunt, and a tender love" and I was very much delivered all of those things and more. I laughed, cried, yelled, swooned. So, if you're curious about this book and want to remain unspoiled, skip this post.

Friends, listen to me when I say this: A Far Wilder Magic is like Darlingstern meets Jurdan fanfiction set in a magical realist 1920s parallel universe. Maggie, described here as a siren (in a very Darlington-Sees-Alex type of way), grows up love-starved but fierce and weapon-wielding. Wes hides behind a layer of charming foolishness, but beneath it he is gentle, kind, and full of so much love. Already the Jurdan dynamic is there, but take away the cruelty of The Cruel Prince and keep the Suspicious-Yet-Reluctant-Friends dynamic of Alex and Darlington when they meet in Ninth House. Additionally, there's a lot of similarities (not in an obvious way where the author intentionally copied things, but in a way where I can just see the similarity of connection between two relationships) in the type of soul-entwined connection that Alex/Darlington have and Maggie/Wes have. It's really something.

There's just so many quotes that took my breath away:

Wes wonders what the two of them would boil down to--what he would boil down to--if alchemy could go deep enough. ... The pieces of them crumble into each other, becoming one...

And then we see this repeated imagery of alchemy and entwining for the rest of the book, and if THAT doesn't cater to my very specific interests...just, wow. Five stars from me.

(Also, the fact that Maggie holds a weapon to Wes and all it does is make him fall more in love? JURDAN CODED.)

[snufkinpipe]

Going on Tumblr and seeing what I got up to over the weekend is like a big wake up call because like what do you mean I accidentally awoken the Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory fandom by SAYING I think the original Wonka is the hottest one WHAT TIMELINE AM I LIVING IN WHERE I JUST ACCIDENTLY MADE A WHOLE ANIME PLOTLINE WERE EVERYONE GOES AFTER THE HOT MAIN CHARACTER!.

[forestlion]

my mother doesn't know how the notes app works so she just texts me things she needs to remember with the addition of "this is just for me"

[poopman14]

two weird roommates who share a room together invite a coworker over to couch surf one night, the coworker isnt really feeling it but is desperate. at work the two roommates talk about their mouse problem and how just a lot of weird shit has been happening to them but the excuse are getting ridiculous like, "the mouse took my glasses!" "why would a rat take your glasses?" "you have to believe me!" and the manager is getting mad because they're late to like all of their shift lately and already weird. they act like weird twins and just stay to themselves but they overhear their coworker talking to a peer about needing a place to stay so theyre like: 👁️👄👁️ you can stay at our place henry (they speak in unison sometimes) and harry is like: absolutely the fuck not, also you have a rat problem

their like: no man its not even a huge deal , yeah man come stay etc etc. so harry says yes and then that night he goes to the apt and its like mostly okay but he notices the apt is a one bedroom and they are two grown amab people and he is like: wow i wonder if they're gay... but essentially they have dinner and a couple beers and hear some weird noises in the walls and just mouse noises (whatever noise a mouse makes) and they're like: god that mouse is so annoying , just all day this is all it is and then getting into shit

and so whatever they're about to sleep and they pull out the couch for harry and both roommates go into their shared bedroom and harry wonders whats gayer, a bunk bed or a full sized bed that they share ( he says out loud)

and so he turns off the light and can kinda hear the rat just making noises in the wall but he just ignores it and is on his phone, he then sees a HUGE shadow RUN into the kitchen like hunched? and so he turns on a light and goes into the kitchen and doesnt see anything and just decides hes been on his phone too much and turns off the light and goes to lay on the couch and turn into the couch and after awhile he gets this weird feeling and turns to the living room and sees a guy just like going through his bag and he starts yelling and tackles him

and so the roommates leave their bedroom (they are wearing matching pjs???) and is like: OMG WHATS GOING ON???

harry: THIS GUY BROKE IN AND IS GOING THROUGH MY SHIT DUDE

guy who lives in walls *pinned down but looks very annoyed*: um i didnt break in

roommate 1: what do you mean you didnt break in?

guy who lives in walls: uhhh, i literally live in the walls *rolls his eyes and clears throat to harry* will you get up?

harry *literally in shock but sputters* DUDE WHAT- NO YOU JUST TRIED TO GO THROUGH MY SHIT AND YOU LIVE IN THE WALLS OR SOMETHING?? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

guy who lives in walls: i was looking for something cute but i can see why your ex broke up with you, who owns 8 star wars shirts? *harry, embarrassed gets up and huffs and stands there folding his arms* ALSO yes i literally live in the walls, its really not even that deep yall are dramatic *he gets up and brushes off his pants*

roommate 2: are... are those my pants?

guy who lives in walls:

roommate 1: thats my shirt!

harry is literally just staring at him and them and cannot believe what is going on

the pair™️: OUR GLASSES!!!

harry and the guy who lives in the walls: what

roommate 1 (top): yeah me and them share glasses cause it just saves money *roommate 2 (bottom) nods aggressively*

harry: how is that saving money? do you guys even have the same prescription?

roommate 2: no, but if one of us just takes the eye exam the other ones eyes will adjust eventually *roommate 1 nods aggressively*

guy who lives in the walls leans to harry and whispers audibly while harry is literally blinking trying to understand what is happening: yeah they literally ALWAYS act like that

harry: PLEASE GET AWAY YOU LITERALLY ARE LIVING IN SOMEONES WALLS AND STEALING THEIR CLOTHES YOURE JUST AS WEIRD AND MEAN! *is pained over his 8 star wars t shirts*

roommate 1: how long have you even lived in the walls anyway?

guy who lives in the walls: probably the 5th of september at 12:32pm. *he is scowling and stares at the roommates with disgust*

harry: that is too specific, why would you say it like that, and not a month ago

guy who lives in the walls: UM you are not the one being accused of being a fucking RAT??? imagine being called ugly, fat, and disgusting like every day

harry: YOU LITERALLY LIVE IN THE WALLS

guy who lives in the walls: its new york sweetheart, i pay my rent like EVERYONE else, also you are literally couch surfing so you should reflect on your situation before coming at ME! *he huffs, rolls his eyes, and sits on the end chair and gets on his phone, over it*

the roommates are just standing around thinking until roommate 2 speaks up: you know, it kind of makes sense

harry: HOW DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE? *he motions to them and then to guy living in walls* THERES A GROWN MAN LIVING IN YOUR WALLS, YOU TWO ARE WEARING MATCHING PJs, AND YOU SHARE ONE ROOM AT 26??? THERES NOTHING NORMAL ABOUT THIS, DOES NO ONE HAVE QUESTIONS?

harry is clearly distraught and literally heaving and sweating. roommate 2 speaks up after a couple moments: ...whose been eating our clothes?

guy who lives in the walls twiddles his fingers in the air from his phone and smiles: yep thats me babe! :)

roommate 1: and nibbling holes into our malt o meal boxes?

guy who lives in the walls: yep!

harry: WHO EVEN EATS MALT O MEAL IN 2023

roommate 2: and leaving small pieces of poop around in weird places that arent humanly possible?

they all look at guy who lives in the walls, who looks shocked and offended: I pay rent like everyone else, also the bathroom is in the bedroom and you guys just do weird shit

*harry has dream montage of him walking in and seeing them with no bed, just standing there staring at each other and holding onto each others arms and speaking in tongues*

guy who lives in walls shudders. harry is still in disbelief and is staring at the roommates: how are you not seeing a full GROWN MAN scurrying around the fucking apartment????

they shrug and roommate 1 sheepishly looks down: when we dont have our glasses its hard to see, so we just thought it was a big rat 😍 idk

harry:

harry:

harry: SO YOUVE SEEN HIM? THIS WHOLE TIME YOUVE SEEN A GROWN MAN COMING OUT FROM THE WALL AND DOING THIS AND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A RAT? WHAT FUCKING RAT IS 6FT TALL-

roommmate 2: in our defense he was HUNCHED and SCURRYING

harry: ITS A MAN, HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE ANY HAIR, HE LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING TWINK

guy who lives in the walls: um im a top for your information

they turn to him at once and speak in unison: no *they turn back*

harry at this point is tired and sits on the couch and at this point isnt even suprised but curious: who are you even paying rent to?

guy who lives in the walls: the same people they pay, obvi

harry doesnt even ask and throws his hands up: literally i dont even know why i asked, this has been so fucking weird like-

guy who lives in the walls: yeah you're telling me, theyve been calling me a rat for like a month and still having gay sex in the kitchen when im just trying to get some malt o meal *he laughs and looks at harry like "you know what i mean?" harry looks at him like he has no skin on and shakes the entire thought from his head while the roommates are yelling about how "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU" and "YOU SICK BASTARD" roommate 2 is ashamed and covering their parts over their pjs

harry: i cant believe i agreed to come here

guy who lives in the wall stands: welp, its been real, its been fun, but it wasnt real fun :/. *he slaps harry on the shoulder and turns to walk past the roommate to a random part of the wall* i have a grindr date coming over in 30 so i need to get ready, but im glad we all had a lil bitch sess and got it all out! 😃 *points to harry before turning to the wall* also if you ever want a gf again, dont ever wear a stars wars shirt again!

guy who lives in the walls proceeds to rams into the wall so hard that it breaks and he just walks into all the piping and leaves covered in plaster

they are all staring and harry is crying into his hands

harry: i- i cant even say anything else

roommate 1: i was wondering how he was getting in.. and that weird hole in the bedroom...

roommate 2: i forgot to ask for the glasses...

[sickhabitt]

modern ellie head cannons!

- Ellie would definitely do photography, i mean we SAW photos of dina in her art room and around the house, the photograph of her, Jesse, and dina, i think she'd LOVE to do photography! just as a fun hobby. she definitely has one of those small 60 dollar grainy cameras that she carries around, snapping pictures of anything

-speaking of photos, she definitely would snap pictures of you! she would hang them up around her room, next to her bed or in a small little frame. Like, you standing in the kitchen, sleeping, if you play an instrument, studying, kissing, anything.

- I also think she LOVES hiking, camping, anything involving the wilderness. She could definitely live out there if she wanted too.

-again, topic of wilderness, she probably just grabs random animals and bugs. Like those people who are genuinely NOT scared of the everglades, shes just casually picking up a snake and grinning like she won a TROPHY.

-this might b a reach but, since shes an artistic person, she would probably be super good at makeup. not that she wears it as often, and if she does its just black eyeshadow, maybe blush and her brows. but theres definitely been a few times shes done your makeup and its turned out BETTER then you can even do it.

- her artistic talent has definitely lead to her doing super cute projects, gifts, and activities. Her gifts are 80 percent of the time hand made. she could definitely make some really nice rings, necklaces, everything out of random stones. she would come across something on pinterest and save it into some folder which is filled with things.

- facebook user.

-now if shes working i feel like her jobs could really vary. definitely not a barista because she doesn't like coffee, she prefers tea for sure, but she's definitely in something more artistic or musically involved. Like a record shop, guitar center, book store, maybe a pottery shop where you can MAKE your own pottery, or a jewelry store.

- her room would be a mess. jewelry everywhere, clothes tossed around, random shit tapped to her wall, anything you can think of its THERE.

- a million people have said it before but.. she shit posts like, crazy. She might have a main account for her instagram and she either shit posts to her main story or close friends. OR she has a private spam account, mainly used for stirring shit up with people.

-shes a tea girl! like sweet tea, iced tea, chamomile, green tea, chai, anything TEA wise. she owns it. she probably has some dumb cup specifically for tea, like cups from Spencer's.

- i feel like shes a collector, like bottle caps, pennies, gems, or guitars (if she has that money, but she's definitely broke.)

- definitely a stoner

- as stated like way before, she likes the wilderness, she would LOVE the beach.

- has a old vans shoe box, filledddd with shit from you if youre the gift giving type!

- wears vans or converse, but doesnt even skateboard, just likes the look.

- nails are constantly painted, dark, earthy colors tho, she wouldnt have long nails either, theyre trimmed short because, 1. she hates the feeling of long nails, 2. playing guitar with long nails SUCKS. 3. 🏳️‍🌈

first and maybe last time ill ever probably do smth like this... literally only did this cuz im sick 🤒

HOW CAN YOU HELP PALESTINE? 🇵🇸?

[nataliesscatorccio]

Dead cabin guy and his technicolor dreamcoat have haunted me since the wardrobe reveal in season two, and today im going to make it everyone's problem.

Travis wears the coat first. He and Natalie take the blessing and go out to look for Javi. Travis hallucinates (prophesies?) that Javi is dead and buried beneath the snow, but Natalie shows him it's only a fox. Travis finds the strange, mossy tree stump. The next day Travis has strong feelings about which direction is best to search for Javi in, and we don't see more of him until Nat reveals the bloody pants. Not that weird, all things considered. New season, new wardrobe additions. Hiking on a caloric deficit with PTSD, you'll probably hallucinate. Pretty standard stuff.

Then Nat wears the coat. She takes it to lay Jackie's bones to rest at the crash site, and while she wears it she sees (hallucinates? prophesies? I'm not sure!) the white moose that they'll later lose to the lake (ergo the hunt, ergo Javi dies for real but more on that later).

We get to Old Wounds, the hunting competition, and Lottie wears the coat now. You see where I'm going with this but just to be thorough: she enters the realm of death dreams, talks with Laura Lee, almost freezes to death.

Episode five. Melissa wears the coat. Maybe that's not important! Maybe it's just to show that they all share the wardrobe, and that the side characters are as equally All In This Together as the main characters are. Or it could mean something that a peripheral character, wearing important wardrobe, framed in antlers (not unlike Travis in 2.01), has the line "maybe he did die, and that's his ghost." It's a little suspicious, and at this point starts to feel like a pattern.

Who wears it next, who wore it best!? That's right baby, it's Paul! For his dreamworld drifter, hallucination hunk Coach Ben Scott. Nicholas Urfe himself. Ben spends almost all of his time in a dream, until *drumroll please* Paul, very pointedly, takes the coat and walks out the door. "Where do you think you are, Ben?" he puts the coat on. "You had to have known you couldn't stay here forever. [...] What matters now is that you aren't welcome here anymore." Following Paul means committing to death (to dream), and until interruption that's the choice Ben makes. Because letting Paul (and the coat) go would mean committing entirely to reality.

Of course, the pièce de résistance is something I didn't even notice until I went looking for it. The first dozen times I watched, I thought that after Lottie's beating Shauna brought her a blanket. "Lottie's cold." But she doesn't. She brings her the coat. Lottie is laying with it when, in a fever dream, she witnesses/hallucinates/prophesies parts of the hunt.

It's there again (on the back of the chair) when she sits by the fire and speaks for the wilderness, appointing Nat their queen. Ben watches, having woken from the dream himself, as they all bow to Natalie and leave reality behind for good.

Of course, there are a lot of times when characters hallucinate strange things in the cabin while not wearing the coat, because they're all starving to death and traumatized. Mari. Shauna. Akilah. But in addition to that, it seems like a pattern worth noting that in each instance where a character wears the technicolor coat, the line between the real and the imagined seems to blur with more ease. Does dead cabin guy's technicolor dreamcoat help the Yellowjackets connect to the dream realm?

I'll be brief here with the biblical parallel: blah blah Joseph is the favorite son (you were always its favorite), his father gives him a technicolor coat (they're nothing special, they don't change color in the cold or anything). blah blah Joseph starts having prophetic dreams etc etc his jealous brothers throw Joseph down a pit (the wilderness chose) and bring his bloodstained coat back as false proof of his death (hanging on a branch. a couple miles back). You get my drift.

Does it mean anything? Who knows. But in a series where wardrobe is such an integral part of the storytelling, it felt worth paying attention to.

[floatingaimlessly333]

>:)

Teen!Simon getting teased teen!Roba + gang at his new school and Johnny stands up for him, shouting at Roba in Gaelic

It was always the same shit. Didn't matter where, didn't matter when, didn't matter who. It was always the same shit.

Simon Riley was destined to be ridiculed and tormented wherever he went, so it was damn stupid of him to think switching schools would change that. It was only a week into the new term, and he had already become the target of another group of arseholes who thought they were better than him. The boys at the group home, his shitty excuse for a father, and now his newest torturer, Manuel Roba; it was like each of them could sense that he was weak, that he was lesser.

Simon had been trying so fucking hard to just ignore Roba and his lackeys. He's sure Nik and Price would be pissed if he got into a fight before they even hit the two week mark, but he couldn't stand it anymore. Every single second he wasn't in a classroom, he had to face jeers and insults and grabs for his mask. He was constantly on the edge of snapping, and he felt powerless to stop what seemed so inevitable at this point.

His only saving grace was Johnny.

Whenever he was able to find a moment of peace amidst all of the chaos, Johnny was right there beside him. But today, he was nowhere in sight. Simon had even gone so far as to actively search for the older boy, but he wasn't in his usual spots. The only thing his hunt did was land him right in the middle of Roba's warpath.

"Where have you been, English? It's almost like you've been avoiding me. Why would you do that, perro cachorro?" Simon could barely suppress a growl at hearing the other boy's taunts. He knew that would just bring on more dog comparisons.

"Roba-"

"Ah, ah, ah. I didn't say speak. Did you forget your commands already? Don't worry, perrito, I'm a very patient trainer."

This is exactly what Simon had been trying to avoid. He knew lashing out wouldn't do him any good, in the long run. It wouldn't stop the bullying. And then all his new teachers would know just how much trouble he was. But he couldn't fucking take it anymore.

He was preparing himself to throw the first punch when he heard footsteps hurrying towards them down the hallway.

"Och, ye fuckin' bawbags! Leave 'im the fuck alone!!" The accent alone clued Simon into the identity of his savior, and he looked up to see his knight in shining footie gear. Honestly, Johnny looked sort of like an angry porcupine at the moment, with sweat making his mohawk look even wilder than usual.

"This isn't your fight, Mactavish. Leave English and I to our little chat."

"Chattin' ma arse. Piss. Off."

Simon had been so busy watching Johnny that he hadn't noticed Roba steadily getting closer until the shorter boy grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie.

"We were just teasing him, hombre. You were having fun, weren't you, English?" Roba gave Simon a firm shake, causing him to hit the set of lockers behind him.

Once again, Simon didn't have time to speak before Johnny was jumping in to save his arse. The angry Scott rammed full speed into Roba, spending the bully careening backwards into his little gang of dickheads.

"Ah said FUCK OFF, YE SACK OF DICKS!!! Na bean ris a-rithist!!! No gearraidh mi dhiot do làmhan! And then I'll shove them up yer flabby arse!!"

Even as Roba and his crew made their slow retreat down the hall, Johnny continued shouting at them in a language Simon couldn't understand. He didn't stop until the other boys were fully out of sight, and even then he let loose a few more words that Si was sure must've been curses.

"If ah dinnae have a football game on Friday, ah would've kicked his arse for ye." He spun around to give Simon a once-over, making sure he wasn't hurt. Satisfied that the other boy was as okay as he could be, he extended his hand towards him. "Well, ahm bloody starving. Wannae go get lunch?"

Speechless, and with a raging blush creeping across his face, Simon took Johnny's hand. And suddenly, all thoughts of Roba and his goons left his mind. He had much better things to focus on at the moment.

Uh oh, this once again came out way longer than expected. >:)

Warning, I speak neither Spanish nor Gaelic, so these translations might not be accurate.

Spanish: perro cachorro=puppy dog; perrito=puppy

Gaelic: Na bean ris a-rithist=Do not touch him again; No gearraidh mi dhiot do làmhan= Or I will cut your hands off

[oneslimybastard]

Another underutilized aspect of N, Natural Harmonia Gropius himself, is that he's conceptualized as not just a Math Guy, but a Math Genius if we go by some interview trivia notated on Bulbapedia.

It clearly shows in the way he speaks since his (translated) dialogue (idk about the original japanese one) is full of hamfisted references to formulas and frustration expressed when the chaos of the world does not align with them — which to me is like, the core of his character, something that makes him both An Asshole to deal with but also a very intellectually curios and creative individual. It's just a brand of creativity not a lot of people can keep up with nor understand.

N likes math because a lot of math is about clearly defined variables and their relationship to one another. If you come across an inconsistency that doesn't fit any prior definitions, you iron out a new definition and suddenly the field has expanded upon itself tenfold. It aligns with how his Very Autistic Brain functions, x + y = z, if I do x to y then z will happen. If z doesn't happen, then that just means I have to identify the hidden variables within the exchange and rewrite the formula to be more accurate.

Black and White's quality of writing is. Like pokémon often is. Questionable at best. The foundations are there but the execution is dumbed down and corny because it's still aimed at kids, BW in specific really cutting the theme of pokémon trainer ethics short in favor of just "dang u beat me in the pogiebattle guess ur right!". How-ev-er. In my head, and the reason why I still find the plot of those games compelling (aside for my unhinged thirst for goth man-milf Ghetsis) is that to me they're about local cult-raised autist Normal Henry Gropus bashing his head against the world over and over to desperately try and make the formulas make sense, to distill it into variables he can understand and predict on a consistent basis, and failing miserably at it. Because even if the world is Technically made up of a bunch of chemistry that you could, in theory, predict, there's just a lot of random noise in there from microscopic complexities that fuck everything up.

Pokémon are simpler creatures (discounting the eerily intelligent ones) who will be nice enough to behave like math problems most of the time. Humans rarely extend that grace, the more N studies them like a science project the more contradictory variables pop up. They have a million thoughts in their head he doesn't have access to, that brew into feelings he doesn't understand, which leads to actions he can't do a proper traceback through. Which is frustrating, devastatingly frustrating. At least at first.

Due to how BW2 pans out and my own yearning for thematic mirroring, whereas Ghetsis gives in to the Autistic Bitterness over all these NTs he doesn't fuckign understand, I like to think N develops a sort of joy in studying people like the impossibly complex math problems we are. Because he likes math, he likes figuring shit out, he likes buying a nightmare rubik's cube and charting the squares out on a nightmare variable graph (listen i am not a math guy. i respect the hustle but my skill level is too low to accurately attempt to simulate the process in writing. im sorry math guys) so he has a home-made flexible cheat code on how to solve any possible mix-up of it. It's fun for him, it stimulates his brain and he is so stupid good at it that he can only share that joy with like a stray alakazam or metagross because he's a bit of a tarzan just hanging out in the wilderness, he doesn't know any high end mathematicians he can casually geek out about combinatorial game theory with, and the normies just do not get it .

I think this math enjoying is kind of a big part of his ~Innocence~ as well, since there's a lot of childlike glee to being a Math Guy. It's the love of problem solving as a process rather than a means to an end, it's playful, but severely misunderstood to the point where people kinda might assume things about you if you are a math guy.

N's love of math helps him love the world but it also isolates him. He's a genius, but since he can't communicate it in a palatable way it'll get overlooked in favor of him just being a loomy weirdo on the street chatting up the local patrats.

If introduced to DnD though he'd spend so much time on forging ridiculously optimized multiclass builds, then migrate to digging through old obscure sci-fi ttrpgs from the 80s with hellishly complex systems just for the funsies of learning how the presented variables behave within a variety of frameworks, but then if you actually invited him to play with your group he'd look at you like you'd just called his mom a llama.

He's a neat guy to me, STEM guy who's also one of those animal rights activists who's a little too PETA-coded, I like him :)

[raineandsky]

#116

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

As of yesterday, the worst pain the prince had experienced was when he accidentally nicked his finger with his father’s sword three years ago.

Today, that has been replaced with the red-hot agony of a bear trap snapping shut on his leg.

It wasn’t meant to go like this. Get to the city borders and disappear into the wilderness—that was the plan. It’d seemed such a good plan too, from the comfort of his bedroom. Easy.

Yet here he is, thrown to the floor by merciless, metal teeth. It’s more blood than he’s ever seen in his life. He’s starting to feel faint, though whether that’s the sight of his own mangled leg or the pain jolting through him at the slightest move is unclear.

Darkness is throwing a blanket over the sky. Forcing the trap open has proven fruitless, dragging himself back to the road impossible. Every fibre of him, down to his very soul, is crying to rest, to ease the pain, to just have stayed in his ivory tower prison like he always had.

Something yellow—a light!—ripples through the trees. The prince thinks, for a rather depressing moment, that heaven might be approaching, and the warden has arrived to drag him into death. It would explain why he can’t feel his hands.

“Huh,” says the warden, “that ain’t an animal.”

The light is blinding now, the person behind it haloed invisibly in its spray. The prince can see them turn, kind of, to a figure next to them.

“Well, no.” A gruff laugh. “That’s very much a human person.”

The light lowers slightly, enough to get a glimpse at the people hiding in its shadow. Oh—not the warden. A common woman, in fact, her and an equally common man, staring down at him with varying amounts of surprise and annoyance.

“Hm,” the woman says again, thoughtful. “Looks expensive. D’ya think we’d get much for him?”

The prince’s stomach does some acrobatic somersault that almost makes him throw up. He tries to move, crawl away, anything, but the trap sinks its teeth into his flesh even more, like it's trying to stop him escaping. A cry falls from his mouth, some incoherent mix of terror and agony.

One of them says something, but he can’t hear it. He can’t hear anything; blood rushes in his ears—it’s a miracle he has any left to do such—his breathing hard and laced with irrepressible noises of his own suffering. 

Another laugh as the man steps forward and back into hearing range. “We should probably make sure he ain’t from one of those places that’ll lob our heads off for the crime of looking at ‘im first.”

“He looks like one of ‘em, don’t he?” The woman steps too close. The prince scrambles without thinking, and gets the treat of the teeth gnawing harder into his leg. “Let’s get ‘im home, at least. Get the trap, Skat, and I’ll get the bag ready for it.”

“Skat?” The name rolls off his tongue so easily. Both of the commoners stare at him like they’re startled he can speak at all. “You– you were in the royal guard. I recognise your name.”

The man’s stare has turned to a hard glare in an instant. “Where’d you get that from?”

The prince attempts a smile, but the burning pain ripping through him makes it difficult. “You were one of the top knights in your guild. I– I came down, sometimes, to watch you practise. My father adored you. I adored you.”

“You’re the boy prince?” It comes out almost immediately. A connection made. A recognition. The prince could laugh with relief if he weren’t already crying. He nods quickly. “Wh–What’re you doing out here?”

The woman snorts behind him. “Sounds like a fat sack of cash,” she mumbles.

The man ignores her. “Don’t answer that; it doesn’t matter. Let’s get you inside and cleaned up, huh?”

“Are you serious?” The woman scoffs as the man sets his gaze on the bear trap. “We’ve stumbled across our biggest catch yet, and we’re just throwing it away? We could be absolutely minted off him and you want me to just send him on his merry way?”

“Well, Gvette,” the man says flatly, “do you really think anyone’s gonna wanna buy something that looks like it’s been dragged through ten inches of mud?”

That gives her enough pause for Skat to don a smug grin and shoot a quick wink to the prince. “Open the trap, will ya?” he adds.

It isn’t gentle. The woman—Gvette, the prince assumes—rips the trap open and lets its barbed teeth tear through any part of his skin they haven’t already. Skat holds him, almost vice-like, as he squirms and cries against Gvette's heartless freeing of his leg. He can’t help but bury his face into the man’s shoulder when Gvette first wrenches it apart.

Skat grabs his hands to try and help up to his feet. The prince shivers at nothing. “Am—” His voice catches when he puts a little too much weight on his leg. “Am I dead?”

“Well, I ain’t one for talkin’ to spirits,” Skat says brightly, “so I’d assume not.”

“I can’t feel my hands.”

There’s a pause that’s a little too thick. “You’re cold, kiddo. You’ve been lying in an inch of wet mud.”

Gvette takes the prince’s arm, rather reluctantly, as Skat pulls a blanket from his bag. He swings it open and onto the prince’s shoulders in one easy move. “A’ight,” he says as he ushers Gvette away to retake his spot at this side. “Let’s get you warmed up and into some new clothes, maybe.”

So we can get you home hangs unsaid in the air. That, or so we can see how much people are willing to pay for you.

Neither of those are an option.

They might want his leg healed before they try anything. That would give him time, and it’d certainly give him a means of escape.

The prince clings to the old knight, with no other choice, and prays that the man’s warmth to him is true.

(next part)

[renren-006]

La Vie En Rose | Sebastian Wilder x Reader

summery: a new jazz singer, makes her way into Sebastians heart after his last devastating love. can she help him move on?

word count: 695

a/n: i absolutely love La La Land!! ! im happy to report we have a new Ryan Gosling character for the tag list so requests are welcome for him!!!! 

You were late. Again. Working at one of the small Jazz clubs in Los Angeles meant that either you could lose your job to another singer or, you were the only one available and had to work twice as hard to stay at your place of employment. This was the fourth time in the past month you had been more than 20 minutes late to work. You were so caught up in the life of your now ex boyfriend that anything outside of his work and his world was deemed not important. This morning was the last time you would ever live under his rules again and kicked him out, including breaking up with him and throwing his shit outside your window onto the plants and sidewalk just underneath it. He was pissed. In all, you were extremely late for work.

Sebastian happened to be at your place of work today. He didn't know you and neither did you to him, but you would. He had been coming to this place for years, and more recently has been dying to listen to your voice for more than the one song you were put on stage for.

As you rushed into your place of employment, the “Jazz Dimond”, you were met with the angry face of your employer. You didn't get any words out before he threw your items from your locator onto the floor of the Jazz club and walked away. Sebastian watched as you picked up all your items, stuffing them the best you could into your giant purse already carrying loads of things.

“Why don't you come work for me?” Sebastian asked you, already standing in front of you. You had seen him at the bar before and you knew he also was opening a new Jazz club. You were stunned he wanted you to work for him. From that day on you worked alongside Sebastian as he readied his Jazz club to open, called “Seb’s”. It was his ex-girlfriends idea and you knew that before you came and got attached he loved another.

The two of you didnt start dating until a year after they opened. The relationship was slow, a nice past for the two of you as both of you had been in previous relationships and didn’t want to get hurt.

That year you found a song you wanted to sing for one of Sebs big nights at the club, a special French themed jazz night. You decided that La vie en Rose would be your song for the night. Sebastian had no idea, and was off in his own world that day trying to get ready for that night. This night would be the night Sebastian realized after a year of dating you, he was so in love with the woman on stage he knew it was worth it.

When you press me to your heart

I'm in a world apart

A world where roses bloom

And when you speak, angels sing from above

Everyday words seem to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me

You sang your heart out, words flowing from your lips, the french song just creating a starry atmosphere. Sebastian was star struck, love struck by you. You wanted to sing this song to show him you loved him, this place you had together, and the life you wanted with him by your side.

Sebastian stared at you and the way your glistening silver dress made you look like an Angel! When you ended the song and exited the stage after the claps and woops from the audience, there he was. A bit sporadic Sebastian scooped you into his yards and kissed you, dipping you as he did.

“I love you Y/N” he spoke, the words were like waves over you. You felt like you were drowning in him and you didn’t want to ever surface! When the waves subsided and you still felt underwater…

“I love you too Sebastian” you spoke. Sebastian smiled, the biggest one you have ever seen. That night, the french love song tied your hearts together

And life will always be

"La vie en rose"

You sang your heart out, words flowing from your lips, the french song just creating a starry atmosphere. Sebastian was star struck, love struck by you. You wanted to sing this song to show him you loved him, this place you had together, and the life you wanted with him by your side.

Sebastian stared at you and the way your glistening silver dress made you look like an Angel! When you ended the song and exited the stage after the claps and woops from the audience, there he was. A bit sporadic Sebastian scooped you into his yards and kissed you, dipping you as he did.

“I love you Y/N” he spoke, the words were like waves over you. You felt like you were drowning in him and you didn’t want to ever surface! When the waves subsided and you still felt underwater…

“I love you too Sebastian” you spoke. Sebastian smiled, the biggest one you have ever seen. That night, the french love song tied your hearts together

[the-lonelyshepherd]

whst r your top 3 fav and least fav yellowjackets characters shep

im gonna do LONG answers bc i want to talk about my sillies

for faves…. i love them all so much it’s actually not funny but for my top #1 yellowjackets character of all time it HAS TO go to my girl Lottie

1. Lottie

she’s insane she’s a cult leader she’s a champion soccer player she has big brown eyes she’s been in multiple odd relationships with various blonde girls she’s a prophet and above all she’s just a girl. 

i’m literally just gonna TOUCH on many topics and not go in depth bc i will actually write a full ass essay. if i haven’t already. 

Shes actually one of my fav characters of all time, not even just yellowjackets. deadass she is SO fascinating, both adult and teen version. unloved by rich parents. schizophrenic (or is it really the wilderness speaking to her??? we don’t know!!!) but hides it until it’s too late. her transformation from sarcastic a little odd but generally kind and cheerful soccer player to borderline mute haunted prophet to years later mysterious but successful wellness center (…cult) leader??? INSANE!!!!! 

her whole religion arc with laura lee??? actually one of the DRIVING forces of EVERYTHIBG i could write an ESSAY on this. insane. her weird one sided rivalry with nat??? INSANE!!! (and lwk homoerotic). her obsession with wilderness baby??? this could be its entire own post

also she like… just wants the best for everyone. she’s been put on a pedestal, marked as an enemy, had her words twisted to excuse HUNTING and EATING someone and then told it was her fault. she also couldn’t stop this because she let someone beat her up to let their anger out. she’s so self sacrificial she’s so overly caring and it ends up hurting herself and everyone and all she’s trying to do is understand things. she can’t be a god but she can be a martyr if they kill her quick enough. she’s MY tragic queen no one gets her like i do. i love her so much. also courtney eaton is really fine. irrelevant.

2. Nat

next up is nat. nat is also like. ohmygoodness. 

first of all the most interesting thing about me for nat HAS to be her dynamics with the group. you could put her with anyone and learn so much about both characters. travis? jackie? misty? lottie? shauna? ben? all of them. it’s a combination of nats insanely interesting character and sophie thatcher’s (sorry juliette lewis but it just wasn’t as impressive for me) INSANE screen presence. she shows so much emotion with just facial expressions and fucking steals every scene she’s in. def a huge contributor in making nat the character she is.

also unlike a lot of the other yjs, nat already has a history with this sort of tragedy. we see in her flashbacks with her dad (i think s1.4?)

this stuff sets her up as immediately apart from the group - not only is she a bit of a social outcast, labeled as an alcoholic, a druggie, a whore etc, but she also already came from a dark place and physically spent a lot of time seperate from the other girls. she spends a lot of time w coach Ben and travis, expanding a lot of their characters and making javis death even more horrible for her. the trauma she has surrounding guns and her father also leads to another really interesting thing - above all, no matter how much she pretends she doesn’t, nat does really fucking care. she cares a lot.

i LOVE this kind of character so much, the kind that pretends to be rlly apathetic but is almost more genuine in their kindness than anyone else. nat just genuinely fuckung cares and she’s been through so much and i rghhhhh. her apology to jackie???? hell even her moments with travis. cutting off his dads finger to get the ring when he couldn’t do it himself. i’m losing it. anyways i have to cut this off bc i need to get to my next girl and i WILL write an essay if i keep going. 

3. Shauna

Shauna fucking shipmannnnnnnn (and by an extent jackie because let’s be frl they are kind of one) let’s go crazy girls. Shauna is honestly terrifying. starting strong!!! but it’s kinda true. she has this like weird underlying sense of something violent about her. she’s always wanted more, she’s always kind of lived in jackie’s shadow wether jackie meant to or not. she had this kind of mindset that’s just SO like obsessive??? i kinda sound like a shauna hater rn this is NOT TRUE 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ she is so compelling it’s insane. 

first off sophie nelisse is incredible. actually incredible. like from the BEGINNING she had me FASCINATED with shauna just with her expressions and rghhhh everythibg. the talent is INSANE. 

and shauna herself is just. so tragic. now you can’t really talk about shauna without talking about jackie. and it’s okay bc i love jackie as well she is my favorite girlloser, resident coldgirl, mislabeled, misjudged queen. et cetera.

and having jackie is such a core part of shauna’s character. when she comes to the wilderness she starts to slip apart a little. rifts form, promises broken and secrets start to slip out. but she still CARES about jackie. she tries so hard to help her do something useful so the other girls don’t turn on her. 

but in the end she was always going to be the one holding the knife. she was always living in jackie’s shadow (at least in her mind) and she had this weird relationship with her where she both villainized and obsessed over her. standard homoerotic highschool girl bestfriendship. i don’t even know where i’m going with this there’s so much i could say. before i end let me rq touch on

wilderness baby and callie. this is also one of the most compelling things to do with shauna. after jackie’s death, shauna is technically on her own. after being so long on begat she perceived as jackie’s shadow, she has, in her mind, autonomy. and things really start to go downhill. first, she’s carrying the baby of her dead best friends boyfriend. which is a situation. but jackie isn’t ever really gone - she’s in shauna she’s in the baby she’s in the meat shed she’s a ghost and eventually she’s a full on fucking meal. so even though she’s dead, she NEVER leaves shauna and shauna is haunted by her forever. normal best friend stuff. but anyways shauna carries wilderness baby to term and loves him so so much and then it turns out he was stillborn. let me emphasize she loved this baby SO FUCKING MUCH. then later as an adult we see her with callie. „i don’t even like my daughter”. the switch up is crazy???? i think i’m running out of room to type fuck but anyways shauna shipman you will always be famous i love you i would write essays on you

okay least faves is actually harder.  beacuse i love them all. i’m gonna say that annoying mustache groomer cop. and like idk who else tbh. nats dad? jackie’s mom??? oooghhh jackie’s mom and dad scene is a whole mother tangent

anyways i hoped you enjoyed me exhibiting symptoms!! thank you for your question idk if you can tell but i love talking about yellowjackets

[rikebe]

thoughts on x men evolution kurt?

i LOOOOVE evo kurt!!! i have a huge soft spot for evo in general (i love love love any animated version of the xmen and evo is so silly and whacky i cant help but adore it) and i think kurt is sooo adorable in that show.

i love how this version of kurt leans wayyy more into his mischevieous and silly pranky side than most other adaptations and i really appreciate that. i feel like its such an underutilized and underrepresented aspect of his character that it even kinda gets tossed to the wayside in the comics half the time, but it's one of the things that makes him such a fun, three-dimensional character. i think its awesome that evo chose to go with that side of him when other adaptations focus more on his melancholy, somber side (which i also love of course! but its not all there is to him!)

im also a huuuuge sucker for little brother and comic relief characters in general (bobby's always been my fave o5) and kurt rly kinda takes on his role of the silly team baby in evo. i adore a silly team baby. plus, kurt is ACTUALLY the youngest of three siblings in canon, so i can totally see him being the annoying kid brother who tags along with amanda and stephan and gets on their nerves.

i liked the more serious plot they did for him too with the whole thing with mystique. ill never get tired of that storyline i wont lie and i think evo manages to strike a good balance where kurt is funny and comedic relief, but you still care about him and when he has a more serious moment it works.

although i think he CAN be a little overexaggerated with his teen speak, i like to imagine that's due to his status as a non-native speaker so he awkwardly overuses slang to try and fit in. I gotta say that I think most of the time Kurt being a teen from germany coming to america is treated kinda weird (see: the reboot movies acting as if kurt doesnt know what a movie or a store is. like guys hes from berlin in the 80ies. hes not from fucking dorf schragensdiek mid-14th century he probably has done way wilder shit than suburban teen scott summers.) so i like to make up my own headcanons to make it make sense a little lmao. also as a german: we think american/english sayings are super funny and like repeating them as germanly as possible. its like a nationwide sport so kurt doing it for funsies would also be totally reasonable.

overall i tend to take a lot of inspiration from evo for my version of a teen kurt bc the way he's characterized could totally be a super young and immature version of the sweet calm fuzzy guy we all know n love. hes silly and pranky and kind of annoying, but he's also really caring and the way his relationship with kitty evolved from a silly crush to genuine friendship was SO sweet. i love when kurt is shown that way, flirty but ultimately completely unselfish when his affections aren't returned and totally glad to just be friends with someone he had a crush on. i do think it's really lame how he uses the image inducer all the time since kurt NOT using the inducer anymore is such a big part of his character arc, and him using it at HOME all the time too is really weird but... well, whatever. in total one hell of a lovable, great kurt.

plus his design is super cute. how can you not love that 90ies boyband middlepart??

[cupcakeinat0r]

hey bff i've been thinking about dad bod miguel absolutely devouring reader after insisting that she hasn't shaved and gets a lil insecure about it but he doesnt give a fuck cuz hes a REAL MAN and the wilderness must be explored!!!!!!!!!!

Ooooo he’d get so angry too, he’d be all like “baby, I literally don’t gaf, so you better lay ur pretty ass down n let me eat cuz im hungry.”

YUM.

Man can eat, too, n he can eat for HOURS if you’d let him.

Writing this right tf now. As we speak.

[wide-eyedbrowns]

yellowjackets team (alive by season 2) rating and ranking

1. Misty - 9.5/10

i said she was annoying but like i get her now. in both the crash and adult timeline, she has the best story and characterization. maybe because her actresses are so great, but definitely her whole arc is unrivaled.

2. Nat - 9/10

her storylines in both arcs are extremely good. definitely the most important yellowjackets member along with misty, i love their little tandem. i just don't like her purple era but she did find a daughter there!

3. Shauna - 9/10

make up your fucking mind girl! one minute she's against lottie's weird cult shit, the next second she's chasing natalie so she can kill her for food and say the wilderness chose! however her craziness post-birth must be a sort of post natal psychosis. adult shauna makes up like 7 points of the 8.5, she's the better shauna for me because she's a straight up loser with an equally loser husband.

4. Coach Scott - 8/10

high ranking out of pure pity like i am so worried for this man. i hope he's still alive and he's experiencing time-traveling hallucinations or whatever, since time traveling is a pretty big theory. i wish he does survive and all the paul scenes are his present scenes but he's gone off the rocks and thinks he's still in the wilderness. this dude is the only one not extremely or supernatully fucked up bc he didn't participate in the cult thing hopefully. BURN THEM CABINS DOWN BAYBEEE

5. Lottie - 7.5/10

when your schizophrenic dreams are misinterpreted by the rest of the group and you're forced to be the face of cannibalism 😂😂🤣🤣. robbed shauna of her cannibal crown. was just being un-medicated then the rest of the team decided to honor her like a god. there were times were she was annoying but you realize she quite literally has done nothing but every single sidekick of hers decides to speak for her and it just goes wrong every single time.

6. Taissa - 7/10

tie. extremely curious about the bad tai and the man with no eyes, which serves as the only "supernatural" event in the series shown that is not in the wilderness or post-wilderness. it would be fucking crazy if tai was the one who bought "It" in the wilderness instead of it like actually already being there, like maybe that was their home? with all the cult symbols or whatever. sometimes i do just find her boring im sorry, she's just like shauna she's extremely indecisive and it's pissing me off! only 7 bc FREE SIMONE ❤️ joking

8. Travis - 7/10

i pity this man so much but sometimes he's boring and his season 1 arc had me skipping scenes. but his brother went missing, "died", came back, then actually died and then no one said "sorry we had to give up your brother to the wilderness, it was either nat or him and the wilderness chose him! we honestly could've atleast tried in helping him get out of the ice cold water but we were hungy". like can we please give this man a break? i wouldn't be surprised if him and natalie refused to hunt for them, if they're all just going to pick cards and eat each other, why hunt for deer, right?

9. Van - 5/10

i feel like one of the only people with a dislike for van's character like. lottie dickrider, i get you "owe" the wilderness for letting you live like you're obviously the favorite but the way she treats the other yellowjackets pisses me off, especially when she straight up said to travis she wasn't ashamed for sacrificing javi? why is she a stronger indoctrinated christian than lottie? i wish they reveal more about her because to be honest her character's a bit of a blank slate, it would be amazing if they start showing a more deeper relationship between her and whatever's in the wilderness. i feel like, in both the show and the fandom, van doesn't have much to her character without tai. her only storyline without tai is with her mother, which we were shown barely 30 seconds of.

10. Mari - 3/10

i just need her gone

11. girl with the shoulder length hair aka pit girl contender number 56 - 2/10

i remember one line of hers and she was rude to shauna and i just didn't like it

12. lesbian w the cap - 2/10

rude to shauna! dye your hair black and i'll give you a bigger role as possible pit girl number 57